Campaign Announcement

Hello. My name is Thomas Peterson, and I am running for mayor of Anoka, Minnesota. My aides tell me there's paperwork to fill out and hands to shake before it's official, but I don't care about any of that. It's difficult to write when you don't have opposable thumbs. I much prefer to dictate and make my laptop do the work. I have learned how to shake, though. I'm proud to say that it was one of my first tricks.

Nap time.

Okay. I'm back. Now that I go back and read my first paragraph, I realize that I should explain something about myself. You may think that this thing that I will be revealing should disqualify me from public office, but nothing in the Anoka charter explicitly forbids it.

I am a French Bulldog. Don't let the name fool you; I am not French. I was born in East Bethel, and my adoptive family raised me here, in Anoka. Now that I'm all grown up, I think it's right time I did something for myself. I have considered selling Bibles or teaching relaxation classes, but I want to do more. I've been on plenty of walks around town, I've seen the dirty streets and I've smelled the urine in the grass, and I think I have something to contribute. Fellow netizens, Anoka needs me.