Thomas Peterson for Mayor

Anoka needs a new mayor. As a French Bulldog, I feel I am suitably qualified. I know how to sit, shake hands, and, in an emergency, play dead. Additionally, I promise that I won't roll over on any issue.


Sunday, January 29, 2006

January has been unseasonably warm this year, or so I'm told. Since I'm only 2, it's difficult to make my own assessment. On Thursday, the temperature reached 45 degrees. I loved going for a walk that day, tromping along the muddy roads, dodging puddles, and smelling all of the newly revealed rotting yard waste.

Speaking of yard waste, my backyard is a minefield. Anywhere I walk, I risk stepping in my own poo. It wasn't so bad when the weather was colder because every few days snow would fall and cover another layer of the minefield. Since Thursday, however, the snow has melted and I'm wary of every step.

This morning, the skies granted a reprieve - a dusting of snow. I sense my adoptive parents' relief. They shouldn't get off that easily. If I'm elected mayor, I'll do something about this turd problem. It's not that I mind the smell, which I don't, but I hate having to walk gingerly in my own backyard because of my parents' laziness.

Nap time.

Ah. I feel refreshed. Where was I? Right: doing something about the poo field. When I'm elected mayor of Anoka, I'll send yard inspectors to every home with a dog. They will be burly inspectors with big muscles and intimidating names, like Blade Goodkill and Danger Crushman. When I'm mayor, no one will need to worry whether their next step will be clean or stinky. When I'm mayor, I will clean up Anoka's backyards.


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