My Animal Idol

If I were asked for my favorite non-canine animal, I'd have to say the skunk. I have a squeaky skunk, in fact, and it is my favorite toy despite the rips in its tail and legs. I like the skunk best because I can relate to it.

For example, tonight I was sitting in my campaign manager's lap while he was watching an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm." I was thirsty and needed a drink of water, but I didn't feel like jumping out of the chair, so I farted. The stink earned me a free trip to the floor!

I'm sure there are other ways I could use my scent to get what I want, but I can't think of another species that understands how to better use their stench than my idol, the skunk.