Torture

My campaign aids torture me sometimes. Seriously. They throw me around and scratch my belly raw. Here is photographic proof of the horrors I must endure in order to preserve my appearance as a "nice dog."

In this particular photograph, my campaign manager tossed me on his bed and held me down until I tried wriggling away. Then he started tickling! The humiliation was unbearable. I will never let this sort of thing happen if I'm elected mayor. Maybe I'll have one of my bodyguards rough him up a bit, toss him in bed and tickle his belly.

Who will be laughing then? Huh?