A Dog's Perspective on Football

I watched the Superbowl today and tried to understand the rules of this weird game. I think I get it. It's like a complicated game of fetch, right? The "quarterback" throws the ball, and the other team tries to catch it and bring it back to the quarterback. Most of the time, the other team doesn't catch it, though. When they do catch it, they never seem to bring it back to the quarterback.

It looks fun, but I have a suggestion. Why not try replacing the football with something squeaky? That always livens up a game of fetch for me. A boring tennis ball is no match for the high-pitched whine of a stuffed squirrel or octopus. I think swapping the football with a squeaky toy would greatly improve the game's entertainment value.

Without the squeaking, I lost interest in the Bowl after about fifteen minutes. But I continued to enjoy the commercials. My favorite was the streaking sheep. It actually had me rethinking my career in politics. Instead of a wolf head blocking our view of the sheep's privates, imagine my own melon silhouetted on the screen. I don't mean to brag, but I have a handsome profile.

Update:
A non-dog friend sent me a link to a place where you can watch all of the Superbowl commercials.