Armed Revolutionary Forces
Saturday, May 20, 2006
I recently fired my bodyguard and have decided to offer the position to Brody, of the Armed Revolutionary Forces. It's not that I prefer one species over another. It's just that Brody is better qualified to protect me.
First of all, Brody has a black-collar in toy assault. My former bodyguard was a yellow belt in karate, and he couldn't even make fruit punch. Secondly, Brody the "Kong Killa" plays Texas Hold 'Em. I love poker (don't all dogs?) , but my former bodyguard only knew how to play Go Fish. Boring. Lastly and most importantly, Brody is not afraid of thunder. Sadly, my former bodyguard shrieked like a school girl every time the clouds rolled in. This didn't affect his job so much as embarrass me. I have a reputation to live up to.
Unfortunately, Brody lives in Los Angeles, and the commute to Anoka, Minnesota is terrible. Traffic all the way. So I've decided to have a telecommuting bodyguard. He's familiar with the Internet already. He can just dial in to protect me. I haven't actually officially offered "PupDaddy" the position, but it looks like he's still available for hire. I hope for a response soon.
2 Comments:
Excellent!
On behalf of the A.R.F. security forces, I'd like to thank you - and accept the privilege of protecting you and your administration during your electoral race, and I'm sure, during your lengthy career as mayor.
While it is true that we are headquartered in in Los Angeles, we use the latest ultra-secret technologies - so 'dialing-in' protection, aka 'Matrix-style', is not an issue.
I am confident that the A.R.F. security forces will perform to your utmost satisfaction - as we are the top dog in the canine protection industry.
Our forces have already been mobilized - so don't be surprised if you notice A.R.F. agents sniffing about.
We'll be in touch.
You will no doubt be pleased with Brody's service. He is a true professional, yet his war face is fearsome.
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