Passing Bills
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
As you probably all know, I'm not a very private dog. I don't mind peeing in public, and I don't mind discussing my various bodily issues. One such issue that seems particularly troubling this evening is my stomach. I don't remember what I ate today, but it has returned to haunt me and those around me like the ghosts of Alcatraz. If I can pass bills as often as I pass gas, I'm sure to become the most prolific Anoka mayor in one hundred years.
Speaking of passing bills, what in the world is going on in Minnesota's State Capitol with the stadium bill? Those dirty dogs (no offense) of the Minnesota House and Senate are playing political games with taxpayers' money, and I don't think it's right. I have a hard time with the idea of handing nearly half a billion dollars over to a private company. I'll admit I have a bias, though. I'm not a huge football fan, except for maybe when my campaign manager spills his popcorn bowl. Baseball's good for a nap, but that's about it.
However, I know there are a lot of sports fans in Minnesota. Why don't we let them pay? Wait! I just had a brilliant idea (for a dog). Why don't we presell 5,000 lifetime passes to all of the Vikings and Twins home games for $100,000 each? To be patriotic, we could even toss in a few free passes for dome dogs.
Speaking of passing bills, what in the world is going on in Minnesota's State Capitol with the stadium bill? Those dirty dogs (no offense) of the Minnesota House and Senate are playing political games with taxpayers' money, and I don't think it's right. I have a hard time with the idea of handing nearly half a billion dollars over to a private company. I'll admit I have a bias, though. I'm not a huge football fan, except for maybe when my campaign manager spills his popcorn bowl. Baseball's good for a nap, but that's about it.
However, I know there are a lot of sports fans in Minnesota. Why don't we let them pay? Wait! I just had a brilliant idea (for a dog). Why don't we presell 5,000 lifetime passes to all of the Vikings and Twins home games for $100,000 each? To be patriotic, we could even toss in a few free passes for dome dogs.
2 Comments:
Hooray for Thomas Peterson! I whole-heartedly agree with your no nonsense approach to stadium politics. There are no other businesses where if you can't afford a space the government will chip in to pay for it and most of the population won't benefit.
Cory Q, thank you for your support. I can tell that you are a very smart human.
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