Hardwood Hard Knocks
Friday, February 17, 2006
I'm going on a short vacation this weekend, so I won't be able to post anything for the next few days. I'm staying with my adoptive grandparents. I love visiting them. They shower me with attention, respect my political clout, and give me lots of treats.
Above all else, one thing about my visits with them brings a big grin to my jowly face: carpet. My home is all hardwood floor and tile. It may be easy to clean and maintain, but try running around a hardwood floor on all fours. I feel like an octopus on roller skates. Some days I just need to run circles around a dining room table, but at home I usually end up skittering into the wall. Not only is this embarrassing, it's also dangerous. If I maintain my current residence when I become mayor, I may need to hire an stand-by emergency airlift service. At my grandparents' home, however, I can run with reckless abandon and still safely avoid head-on collisions.
I won't spend my entire vacation running circles around a table, though. That would be neurotic. I also plan to sniff their furniture and eat specks of food off their kitchen floor.
Above all else, one thing about my visits with them brings a big grin to my jowly face: carpet. My home is all hardwood floor and tile. It may be easy to clean and maintain, but try running around a hardwood floor on all fours. I feel like an octopus on roller skates. Some days I just need to run circles around a dining room table, but at home I usually end up skittering into the wall. Not only is this embarrassing, it's also dangerous. If I maintain my current residence when I become mayor, I may need to hire an stand-by emergency airlift service. At my grandparents' home, however, I can run with reckless abandon and still safely avoid head-on collisions.
I won't spend my entire vacation running circles around a table, though. That would be neurotic. I also plan to sniff their furniture and eat specks of food off their kitchen floor.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home