Thomas Peterson for Mayor

Anoka needs a new mayor. As a French Bulldog, I feel I am suitably qualified. I know how to sit, shake hands, and, in an emergency, play dead. Additionally, I promise that I won't roll over on any issue.

Hardwood Hard Knocks

Friday, February 17, 2006

I'm going on a short vacation this weekend, so I won't be able to post anything for the next few days. I'm staying with my adoptive grandparents. I love visiting them. They shower me with attention, respect my political clout, and give me lots of treats.

Above all else, one thing about my visits with them brings a big grin to my jowly face: carpet. My home is all hardwood floor and tile. It may be easy to clean and maintain, but try running around a hardwood floor on all fours. I feel like an octopus on roller skates. Some days I just need to run circles around a dining room table, but at home I usually end up skittering into the wall. Not only is this embarrassing, it's also dangerous. If I maintain my current residence when I become mayor, I may need to hire an stand-by emergency airlift service. At my grandparents' home, however, I can run with reckless abandon and still safely avoid head-on collisions.

I won't spend my entire vacation running circles around a table, though. That would be neurotic. I also plan to sniff their furniture and eat specks of food off their kitchen floor.

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