Once a Year

The Westinster Dog Show was on last night. This is the one show I actually care about watching. It only happens once a year, but I couldn't see it. My parents are too cheap to pay for cable.

I'm happy to see that a Bull Terrier won Best in Show. Rufus wasn't my first choice, though. I was cheering for Bandogs Jump for Joy. She's cute. I have one of her pinups hanging in my kennel. I tried contacting her a few weeks ago, but her agent brushed me off. Apparently "potential mayor" isn't good enough for a prima donna like Jump for Joy. Bitch.

If a French Bulldog doesn't win, at least a dog breed with "bull" in its name won. Don't get me wrong, I love all dogs. I just have a special fondness for bulldogs and all dogs of the "bull" variety. Bull Terriers are a cross between the Bulldog and the White English Terrier, so they qualify for that reserved parking spot in my heart.

I'm mad about missing the show. Watching the video clips on the Westminster website isn't the same. I wish my parents weren't so stingy. I may be a persuasive orator and a powerful politician, but I still can't convince them that cable t.v. is worth the cost. Maybe I'll go pee on their bed sheets.